OK, hows this;
Add an ICON that would appear on profiles owned by a person that does not want to merge.
He/she could chose it as an option when he/she joins.
OR
If he/she chooses the option, then the request to merge button changes to a "This person Does not wish to Merge" button.
That would save the trouble of asking and them the trouble of declining it.
As for those that have not logged on for a long time, and have not canceled their account. Geni should cancel their account after 6 mths or so of inactivity and compleate any outstanding merges.
And for those who now they will be gone for long periods of time there could be a vacation mode to hold the account for up to a year before closing.
What do you thing, and Geni people, you heard our cry, what can you do?